Sunday, May 16, 2010
This last week even up until now, I've felt so under attack from the Enemy. It's not that things haven't been falling into place...it's just that it's been extremely difficult to get them done. Many impetuses stemming forth and trying to make me swerve off track. I've got so much to get done but I KNOW that God is for this journey to Uganda. I KNOW He wants me to go. I seem to have people that support my going yet at the same time, I'm not getting any help from those that I'm closest to. I'm not trying to be selfish by any means. It just seems that I'm having to continue to reach out for help when people know that I'm in need or am struggling. But then...wow. When I shut off the noise for a bit, just hear the sound of my fingers tapping away at the keyboard, and take in what I am typing, God begins to speak to me.
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me." (Matthew 25: 40-43)
I hear this. I read this. And am reminded of eternal perspective. I'm convicted of my own faults of not doing, helping, going, being...just not. I've been on both sides of the fence, as well all have I imagine at one point or another. I've been completely "safe" and feeling like I'm in a stable position (financially, emotionally, spiritually...), but did I remain in complacency b/c I was "set"? And then in the last year or so, I've experienced TRUE need in various realms. Oh how it's easy to point fingers at others who don't seem to be there or seem to help when it's actually just my own mirror of how I can be sometimes.
I think if I can get across one thing about Uganda, it's this: it's not just some mission trip. It's a journey of love. It's put forth and set forth by God and is His desire for those of us going to be going...and to GO. It's not like summer camp where the goal is looking for a fun experience, lots of pictures, yet without yielding to ourselves...without struggling...without hurting. No, this is not it. This journey is about love. Love for God. Love for people...ALL people. Love for the least of these. LOVE.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should di it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. (1 Peter 4: 8-11)
How I pray for renewed vision...for inspired hearing...for a peaceable tongue...for a heart that loves like Christ. This week and weekend has been pretty rough and those of you who know me well know that I am pretty open about how I'm doing, where I'm at, or what's going on in my life. So, I speak all of this openly, humbly, and vulnerably to you all...that you might lift me up in prayer...that you might pray for renewed strength, patience, tenacity, and good health for me!! It has been quite challenging lately. My list of things to complete seems to be growing longer with my time here in Dallas becoming shorter. Time is fleeting...this is such a multi-faceted statement. The past couple of weeks my migraines have been exacerbated and considerably worse. It's detered me from work, my clients, getting things done for Uganda, and just taking good care of myself the way I want to. I realized that my wisdom teeth needed to come out and this is a big reason for my increased incidence of migraines lately. So, I'm going tomorrow to get my wisdom teeth taken out. Taking a couple of days off work. Not bringing in hardly any income currently. Praying furvently that God will provide somehow and someway. I've had a stomach bug additionally for the past couple of days. Sigh. I got a speeding ticket today driving to my basketball games that I coach. Just another bump in the road for me.
I don't tell you all of this to make it seem like I'm being a Debbie Downer and am having a pity party. I tell you these things to be honest. That I've never been more certain about moving to Uganda but I speak openly to show in a small way (without being extremely detailed) that the Enemy sure doesn't want me to go!! God wants to use me and my family there in Karamoja to do HIS work and the Enemy doesn't like that one bit. I'm led to this passage of Scripture regarding all of this...
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saaved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?" So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1 Peter 4: 12-19)
I take a deep breath. I inhale goodness, mercy, and grace and exhale negativity. I can rejoice at my present trials for the outcome is all for the glory of God. I do ask that you all keep me hard in your prayers for this next month especially...I leave a month from today. :) I love you and I'm so glad you all are walking, running, crawling, limping, victoriously traveling on this journey with me. :)